&& joke me something awful...
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
9:18 AM
today cried over the phone while talking to my family. i am home sick! but the thing is i'm home and dey arent. isnt that nice? oh well.. so much for being family orientated.
i'm so freaking scared. my N's are coming!!!!! how how how!!!!! i'm like a week 3 now.. few more weeks will be prelims and ..... my death date is coming nearer and nearer.i doing all my revision. less tv more assignments.
i'm trying.... juz thinking about my future. was talking to my parents abt the sec 5 issue. i was thinking of not coming back to sec 5 if i get above 5 pts for best 3 subs. i dunno.... den my mum straight away asked me so wad u gona do? work? and i'm like no la.. go overseas and study or something la. den my dad was like, u wan go overseas study u jolly well seat for sec 5. and i'm like F!@# U! do u understand the difference of standard. i'm struggling here in N's and u juz say that i'm lazy!!! u duno wad's goin on.. u always think that i'm online! well excuse me.. get the picture. i study at nite when u guys are lying in bed and heading to ur dream land. the reason being u guys wun come looking for me saying samantha this and that. u noe how frustrating it is?
though i'm ur little girl, but i still need space on my own. i noe u guys are getting old. but why cant u guys call my bro? he isnt there for free ya know. u gave birth to him, u feed him, u put him through sch and .... he should do something to repay his so called "debts". for heaven sicks, i'm learning bit by bit. i aint some super woman. who knows everything and multi task like trillion of things at one shot. gosh... i'm so damn confused with my emotions.
first i hate u for being unreasonable. u juz dun try to understand ppl. u always wan it ur way. second i miss u guys..
thridly i love u guys. i duno my emotions.
i'm tired of goin through this everyday. it's freaking me out even before i'm seating my N's.
...like a kiss on the neck of just friends &&
