**visual confession- ;;

&& joke me something awful...

Sunday, July 23, 2006
8:24 AM

today i went to church. woah!!!! great change! number of ppl drop like by 50% worship today was weak. maybe due to the lack of guitarist. anyway, during worship, they ask who are the history maker? and stated this if u wan to be a history maker.. are u a ready servant yet? i'm like.. aint all should be a history maker. like everyone here on earth had sure made an inpact on someone's life doesnt it? a servant? arent we all one of god's servant? we r who we r and wad we r.. god brought us here for a purpose. like why are they making it sound so .. disheartening? they are like trying to say.. if u arent a servat yet u arent a history maker. so fine maybe diff ppl have diff interpretations. but i seriously think. that they shouldnt preech like that. and besides be christians or not, we r all history makers! i think u should say that!
if let's say LKY isnt a christian, can we say that he isnt a history maker? WAKE UP!!! he did lead singapore to here.. if not.. do u think we would be an independent country by now?
think about it. if it hadnt for him, i think we would rasing the jap flag and singing their nationall athem.
wad the hack.
anywayz.. while worshipping today, i sing and sing. i spoke in tongues. but as i sing the lyrics, it struck me. is this wad i realli wan? is this wad i realli believe in? am i ready to be growing in a this faith. honestly speaking, i have a 3 min happinness to everything. that's why i cannot always be contented. but i'm trying!!! realli i am.. i guess efforts pay of sometimes. i hope this effort i put in realli works.
remembering the times i used to be so phyic abt church and worship! due to BGR! and the politics i guess it realli had affect my faith and believe and trust.
to me now everything seems meaningless.. it's like i'm leaving on an empty. i duno wad i should believe in now. i'm so afraid of everything. i mean like.. i used to be the crazy kid around the block doing stupid stuff.. now i'm like. timid and all.. shit man!!!! wad am i gona do?? WAKE UP SAM!!! * slaps and strangling myself*
have i realli lost it? is this wad i realli wan? I NEED TIME TO REFLECT!!! but time aint by my side due to the coming exams.. i'm tired! i'm breaking down! shit la!!!!!
my mind is going DANG!!!!!
hahazz. nitez ppl.. i juz need time to reflect

...like a kiss on the neck of just friends &&